Self-help vs Personal Development

 On 27 October 2022, I met a wonderful gentle-man called Jim Murphy. Jim is a well-known Catholic lay Teacher and Preacher of God’s word in the United States. In fact one interesting fact about him is that, in 1992, he was inspired by the American Bishops’ letter on Heritage and Hope. Therefore, Jim undertook a 4200-mile (6759km) journey on foot across America, carrying a six-foot cross in an effort of prayer and evangelization. The journey took eighteen months… and fourteen pairs of shoes! Wow… Isn’t this an amazing demonstration of faith and courage? Despite this and many other achievements, Jim is a very down-to-earth person.

Jim is very conversational and he likes to ask questions.

So during one episode of our conversations, a few days later, as I shared with him about my Coaching practice, he asked me a question, “In your opinion, what is the distinction between Self-help and Personal Development?”

I responded to him by saying: “Self-help is when an individual embarks on a process of improving a specific area of their life without external help. On the other hand, personal development involves the process of enhancing one’s life in more than one area of their life, usually facilitated with external help, for example a Coach over a period of time.”

So since that conversation, I have continued to reflect on the question. In fact I realized that I could gain further insight on the distinction between Self-help and Personal Development. I now share with you, some of what I have discovered that has enriched my understanding of the distinction between Self-Help and Personal Development.

On the website: https://www.psychologytoday.com/za/basics/self-help Self-help is defined as: “a term associated with actions and interventions that a person can take on their own or with guided literature, as opposed to working with a clinician.”

According to Madeline Miles - https://www.betterup.com/blog/personal-development “Personal development is looking inward and focusing on ways to better yourself. Personal development increases your self-awareness, your self-esteem, increases your skills, and fulfills your aspirations.”

Having read the above definitions, I realized how important it is for one to know what they are doing generally in terms of self-improvement.  It is therefore, essential to determine when one needs help, say for instance in terms of Self-help or Personal Development.

Self-help is quite important. One is able to foster self-discipline if implemented diligently. However, not everyone is able to cultivate that sort of self-discipline.

At some point in our lives, each one of us could need a Coach. In fact I was pleasantly surprised to learn that for instance Oprah Winfrey has four Coaches, as revealed by Lisa Nichols. Lisa admits that when she learnt about Oprah’s number of Coaches, she too decided to have more Coaches in her life. What Coaching does, is to help you achieve results quicker than you could have managed on your own. A Coach would help you to stay motivated, which is not fully possible when you are working alone on yourself.

So next time you intend to improve an area of your life, or areas of your life, it would be good to discern what would be most effective for you as an individual: Self-help or Personal Development?

Comments

  1. AgnesNovember 11, 2022 at 5:33 AM

    Hi Joe,
    Agnes here, I read your blog, I found it quite interesting and relevant. I am a young adult and I find myself often plagued with questions of what or how am I “supposed” to be living my best life. The pressure is both external and internal; internal in the sense that I’ll be looking at my peers and using them as a yardstick of where I am supposed to be in life, externally with well-wishers in the form of family members, colleagues, friends etc. always suggesting that I take this or that route. I don’t consider myself as the ambitious type; my approach to life is a bit laid back. It is the latter that has got me thinking along the lines of self-help and personal development because quite honestly I find myself having to contend with complacency. I have tried several modes of self-help, some have been successful and others haven’t. Madeline Miles’s definition of personal development is what I have also been practicing when I realized that I have come to the end of myself in 2019. I have been doing a lot of inside work, mostly by questioning my motives for doing things, listening more to what my emotions are relaying to me. I think I am at a stage in my life where I could use a mentor, I have had trouble accepting this reality because I am the self-sufficient type that barely if at all asks for real help. Thank you for sharing your blog with us, I will keep visiting it for new insights; which are by the way very, necessary.

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