P•A•T•H

There is a powerful quote that says: “Don't follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” I find this a thought-provoking quote, as it suggests adventure beyond the expectations, we have of ourselves or the expectations others may have of us.

Going where there is no path is daunting. In fact we find ourselves so afraid that we even prevent others from either thinking about it or trying to embark on such a journey.

Recently I have Coached several teen-agers. One thread that I find very interesting amongst most of them is the type of relationship they are experiencing with their parents – in terms of communication.

When my daughter was about five years old, she and her brother who was seven at the time ‘summoned’ my wife and I for a breakfast meeting the following day. The item on the agenda was to discuss when we should inform them of the family weekend programmes and their desire to have an option whether they should attend social events with us or not. Their argument was simple and sensible: we (their parents) should inform them in time about the weekend programmes and they should be given a chance to choose which social event they should attend when we get an invitation. In the beginning we were taken aback. Our attitude was: they are our children, and we MUST tell them when and how to do things.

On further reflection, my wife and I realised that the GenZs are very expressive, opinionated and are able to articulate their preferences with razor sharp clarity.

My GenX traits were shouting foul, how can this be? We were raised to be seen and not necessarily heard.  That brings me to the title of my post today: PATH.

After the episode with the children, we realised that we need to throw away the script with which we were raised and create a new PATH… going where there is no trail…. not the trail that our parents raised us with. This required us to walk in sync with how the children were experiencing, growing and viewing life, from perspective.

This has helped us to be more open-minded, as we tuned into their frequency of conversation and communication. It has helped us immensely not to stress, as our worlds and their world is quite different. GenZs are so stimulated and crave to engage with their parents frequently. They also crave affirmation. In fact one Coach mentions that they require to hear that they are loved at least seven times a day. This enhances their sense of belonging. They simply wish to be understood from their point of view. So this post is dedicated to all teen-age parents out there: let us take the courage and go instead where there is no path and leave a trail of engaging with our teen-age sons and daughter positively with love.

In his book entitled, ‘Maturity, The Responsibility of being Oneself,’  Osho, highlights our sacred position as parents, in a very insightful way:

“The child is a guest from the unknown and you have to be respectful to the guest. Parents who are not respectful to their children are bound to destroy their lives. Your respect, your love, your gratitude that, ‘You have chosen us as your parents’, will be responded to with deeper respect, more gratitude, more love.”

This post is dedicated to teen-age parents and to make a plea: let us go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. And above all let us endeavor to remain: Positive, Adaptable, Thoughtful and Hopeful – PATH.



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