The Secret of Success

Over the past few weeks, I have been immersed in Daniel Goleman’s classic book Emotional Intelligence. What a powerful read—provocative, practical, and deeply insightful. Even more enriching is the fact that I am reading it together with members of my Book Club, whose membership spans across the African continent. The diverse perspectives we bring to the discussion on Emotional Intelligence make the lessons even more meaningful.

One of Goleman’s central arguments is simple yet transformative: success is not determined solely by intelligence quotient (IQ)—the metric many of us grew up believing was the key to achievement. Instead, emotional intelligence (EQ) plays a much larger role. Goleman notes that people with high IQs often end up working for leaders with stronger EQ. This resonates with me, as I recall how often in school we were told that excelling in IQ tests was the golden ticket to success.

But is it really?

That question brings me to the heart of this reflection. What does success mean to you? How do you define it? Is it about wealth, influence, peace of mind, or impact? Tony Robbins once said that each of us must define success for ourselves. Without that clarity, we can chase endlessly after someone else’s version of success and never feel quite fulfilled.

What makes Goleman’s insights so powerful is his framing of success through the lens of emotional intelligence. At its core, EQ is about understanding yourself and others—having compassion, self-awareness, and the ability to connect with what truly matters to people. And isn’t that what leadership, business, as well as personal development and growth are all about?

When we tune in to the needs of others, we naturally create value. Jim Rohn captured this truth perfectly when he said: You get paid for bringing value to the marketplace. In other words, success is tied not just to what you know, but to how you connect, serve, and create impact.

There is s also a quote I love that says: I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone. Success is not about being everything to everyone; in my view, it is also about being intentional in one’s contribution, one’s growth, and one’s unique journey of life.

As a self-confessed lifelong learner, Personal Development Coach and Business Development Coach, I find it fascinating how themes like success and emotional intelligence weave through the teachings of different thought leaders—from Goleman to Robbins, from Rohn to Allon Raiz.

Raiz, for instance, emphasizes that behind every successful business is the personal growth and clarity of the entrepreneur or executive leading it. That truth is at the core of my work with business leaders and Clients: helping them navigate high performance, business growth, and personal fulfillment—all anchored in their own definition of success.

And so, after reflecting deeply on these ideas, here is my takeaway: the secret of success is that there is no universal formula. Each one of us has the power—and responsibility—to define what success means for oneself. Being aware, therefore, of Emotional intelligence  and its principles equips us to not only define it but also to pursue it in ways that are sustainable, authentic, and impactful.

That, I believe, is the real Secret of Success.