#YourBetterSelf

There is a powerful quote that says: “Don't follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” I find this a thought-provoking quote, as it suggests adventure beyond the expectations, we have of ourselves or the expectations others may have of us. Going where there is no path is daunting. In fact we find ourselves so afraid that we even prevent others from either thinking about it or trying to embark on such a journey. Recently I have Coached several teen-agers. One thread that I find very interesting amongst most of them is the type of relationship they are experiencing with their parents – in terms of communication. When my daughter was about five years old, she and her brother who was seven at the time ‘summoned’ my wife and I for a breakfast meeting the following day. The item on the agenda was to discuss when we should inform them of the family weekend programmes and their desire to have an option whether they should attend social even...

On 23 rd February 2009, a colleague of mine sent me an email that was entitled, Cleaning House. The Author is unknown. But the insights therein, are empowering and full of useful knowledge. I am sharing the contents of the message in the email. In fact, I stumbled onto the message as I was incidentally Cleaning Up my work space. Enjoy the read and your task of Cleaning House. --------   This weekend I decided to clean my house a little. What a load of rubbish one accumulates with time…! I threw out worry. It was old and in my way. It prevented me from being myself and from doing things God’s way. I also threw out an old book – My Past (in any case, I never had time to read the thing). But I replaced it with New Goals – I started reading it today. I also threw out hate and bad memories (Remember how I used to cherish them?) I also got hold of New Philosophy – threw away those of long ago. Then I bought a number of very cute booklets – I Can, I am going to and I sha...

One fine day, a friend of mine and I were discussing about how to facilitate effective change within organisations. At the time, I was working with him to facilitate change management in non-profit entities involved in humanitarian and community development work.  Coming from a business background, I was familiar with the SWOT Analysis process in aiding companies to identify their internal and external factors that would make them succeed. He then shared with me another very direct tool that he was using at the time. He calls it Start vs Stop. With the Start vs Stop, he guides conversations with the participants towards what it is they must start doing to achieve their goals. Conversely, they should also identify what it is, that they must stop doing that gets in the way of achieving their desired goals.  I was reminded of this tool during my personal reflections based on a decision I made a couple of weeks ago. It took me a months to make this decision. In the moment of makin...

So we are told, and many times reminded that: Change is the only constant!  Question is: do we like change? In fact, do we even want things to change?  Personally, I am happy with the status quo, especially when things seem to be going well. Why change, anyway?  So this past week, I was forced to reflect on the change(s) I encountered in my reality. A lot of matters demanded my attention, at the same time. One would say, it comes with age. But on a more sober note, I realised that the pressure of prioritising and trying to deal with all-important issues, at the same time, was due to the fact that I was ill–prepared to deal with the change(s) taking place in my situation of reality.  In the moment, I could not see it. But in hindsight, I realised that, had I been a little more prepared, just maybe I would not feel the pressure.  One wise man said one day, “learn from other people’s  mistakes. You may not live long enough to learn from your own.”  So my ...

“Success leaves clues” , so says one wise man who willingly and always shared wisdom on what it takes to be successful in life. One of the clues is celebrating achievements no matter how big or small. Every small milestone reached is a step closer to the bigger milestone.  Think of it as running a 96 kilometer marathon. Every meter the athlete reaches is a step closer to the next kilometer mark. And so it continues till the entire 96 kilometers are covered. Alas the big milestone: completing the marathon. The whole race. It does not take much to celebrate the milestones in-between. By simply recognising the minute milestones, it becomes easier to acknowledge the big milestone. So, celebrate milestones.  Many-a-time even the small milestones are hidden. It takes conscious effort to seek the small milestones. I recall a certain meme that was doing the rounds during the COVID days, that said, “remember to dress your best daily. Do not reserve good clothes for Sunday only. Each da...

Through his book entitled, “The Purpose Driven Life” Rick Warren helped me realise in a deeper way that as individuals we all have different forces that drive our lives. “There are hundreds of circumstances, values and emotions that can drive your life” , writes Warren.  He goes on to list five common aspects as the driving forces in the lives of people, namely: guilt, resentment and anger, fear, materialism and the need for approval. I found that list quite insightful.  I became more curious in trying to understand what really was the driving force behind my thoughts, feelings and actions during the various circumstances I encountered or found myself. Whether it was thinking through a situation, identifying my feelings or making a decision about how to proceed, I have generally used Warren’s list as a filter to help me understand my own motivations better.  This is an on-going process because as human beings we are evolving each day. What may have been the driving force...

What’s Love got to do with It? Today is Wednesday 14th February 2024. The date is celebrated as Valentine’s day. A day when hundreds of people celebrate love with their partners and loved ones. The day has an interesting history, based on Saint Valentine. The story is told that St Valentine wedded couples against the laws of his time, thus celebrating and promoting love. He was killed for that. He died for what he believed in, Love.  Incidentally, today is also Ash Wednesday. It is a day marked by traditional Christian churches signifying beginning of  the Lent season. Lent marks forty days of fasting, prayer and almsgiving for spiritual purposes. I have been reflecting on this co-incidence and wondering what intersects the two celebrations: Valentine’s Day and Ash Wednesday. They seem worlds apart, yet today they are marked on the same day. Love is the notion that emerged during my reflection. Immediately, the question arose: “What’s love got to do with it?” Interestingly, th...